Suck Never Sleeps...

                                  Move over, 2003 Detroit Tigers...move over, 1935 Boston Braves...move over, 1910-1912 St. Louis Browns, 1899 Cleveland Spiders, and (of course) 1962 Mets... there's a whole new brand of awful coming to town.  I'm referring to your 2013 Houston Astros.  Like it wasn't bad enough that they were stinking up the NL Central, now they're going to be competing in a very, uhhh...competitive division; the AL west.  Never mind the Angels, Rangers and A's, Houston will be lucky to come within 10 games of the Seattle "We think Jason Bay is going to help us win" Mariners.  Add the fact that their new uniforms are almost as ugly as their '70s ones, and this could truly be a hideous season for the ages...



                  I mean really, name one decent player not over the hill other than Jose Altuve, who my friend Steve Mulcahy calls the "Poor man's Dustin Pedroia".  It wasn't so long ago that Houston was a playoff team.  Two of the main players on those late '90s to mid' '00s are Cooperstown bound; Biggio and Bagwell.  At least one of them should already be there, but that was a rant from two months ago, so I'll let it slide now.  It must be killing the Astros front office to watch the Texas Rangers become such a powerhouse.  Even losing Hamilton won't hurt Texas that much; they still have good pitching, and a formidable offense...and you can name most of the team (ha)...



         The best Astros teams in my opinion were the 1980 and 1986 teams.  The '80 team would have beaten Philly if they had a healthy J.R. Richard...likewise, if the 'Stros pulled out that 16 inning, game 6 against the Mets, they would have had Mike Scott to probably win game 7 (.and most likely beat my Sox )...but "ifs and buts" and such. Houston also had the advantage of playing in the Astrodome, a home field, uhhh...advantage if there ever was one (sorry about the "uhhhs" ).  A pitching haven that made Dodger Stadium look like Coors Field circa 1995, the Astrodome paved the way for other domes like the Metrodome, also known as the "Homerdome", the Kingdome, which was a little more neutral, Olympic stadium (ditto), and then, Skydome (the only one left ).




                      To tell you the truth, part of me wants them to go back to their original incarnation; the Houston Colt '45s.  From their first year in 1962 to 1964, Houston went by that name; they changed the following year, to maybe cash in on the space age, or, more likely, to try and compete against other teams without having to deal with mosquitoes, gnats and other flying nuisances...and thus, the Astros, futuristic indoor home and all.  Lots of teams followed with the donut, cookie cutter stadiums; most of them using AstroTurf.  I'm glad most teams have gotten ride of the fake stuff, but I miss it a little.  Probably just a nostalgic thing...although, I do miss stolen bases...and Ozzie Smith doing his leap...and crazy hops over outfielders heads...and Enos Cabell.  I don't actually miss him, I just like saying "Enos Cabell". 


                                             Prediction: 45 wins, 117 losses....